I am dumbfounded that here in 2012 there are still some areas of mainstream technology that really just haven’t improved.  At 39 I have become a rather patient person for most any shenanigans people can throw my way. Delays and setbacks are not uncommon at the hands of strangers, and it’s truly no big deal. Where I get feisty is with the inanimate objects. Usually designed to be simple and time saving and often neither. Today I will attack something I think we all have had problems with, and how it could be fixed once and for all.  Today I will keep things as simple and straightforward as possible, as I discuss… the printer.

The problem with printers, scanners and most anything that you purchase separately and plug into your computer is accountability.  When there is a problem, the printer sprouts up a finger and points at the computer.  The computer of course, does the reverse, sprouting a finger and pointing it back at the printer.  Often times you wind up feeling like they are both giving you the finger, and that’s when you have the “Office Space” feelings of taking out a bat.  There are drivers needing to be installed.  There are settings, yes pages of settings and enhancements that can be adjusted and changed.  There is software running all the time on the computer to make sure everything comes out OK, updates that need to be run, and about the time you get everything set up the way you’d like, a window will open alerting you to a low ink cartridge.

I was frustrated with this back in the 90’s, in fact, and came up with a great idea back then to solve a lot of problems.  Feeling rather excited about this revolution, I got on the phone with a family member, who I’m not going to call out here, but let’s just say they would definitely be the person you would run a technology idea by to see if it was good.  At least that’s how I used to feel.  My idea was a single piece of software that could be used with any printer and scanner.  It would print a single sheet with a selection of colors and lines and the user would simply be told to take it from the printer and put it into the scanner. After that was scanned, the user would then be asked to take a pre-printed version of the same sheet, included with the software, and insert that into the scanner as well.  The program would then do the following.  It would analyze the print you made with your printer through your scanner and would then know exactly how to modify what you were scanning to come out as perfectly close to the original as possible.  Secondly, the program would know by scanning in the pre-printed image, what errors were present in your scanner, and be able to account for them in the settings of your scanner to give you the most realistic image. Lastly, it would analyze the pre-printed sheet and make a comparison to the sheet you printed and scanned in.  The program would now know any errors in your printer, and could account for them individually.  My premise was that most users didn’t want to tinker with settings, they just simply wanted the most accurate / true to life colors and images coming into the scanner and out of the printer.  My idea was rejected as not being viable. 

OK, flash ahead about 17 years, we still don’t have a functioning model of my original idea, and now look at printers.  Mostly, we have the same issues still, and still Microsoft has not been able to build this simple comparative program into it’s ever massive operating systems.  Now at least in the printing and scanning rackets we usually have both functions in the same device.  We now have the blessed all-in-one printer/scanner, but still we are left to fend for ourselves.  The user is just told to adjust things for his or herself.  Take for instance any of the print alignment functions.  You are noticing lines are coming out wrong, so you go into the devices print manager software, and you are guided through a process of printing out an alignment sheet.  You then analyze it yourself and give feedback to the software, which then makes adjustments and aligns itself back into proper order.  My program would allow for this to be done for you.  Just print out the form and put it right into the scanner and the software does the work for you, quicker.  Now, 17 years later, I have more things we can add.

A couple of clever modifications to the printer.  With a spring and a small piece of plastic with a sensor, you could quickly and without any damage to the paper, tell the rigidity, The more rigid the paper, the more resistant it would be to a tiny bit of pressure on any one edge.  In an instant the printer would know the thickness of the paper; if it was standard thickness or card stock.  Then, with a small led and sensor you could bounce light off of a sheet and determine the glossiness of the paper, it’s color, or if it was a sheet of transparent plastic.  Use these two sensors and you wouldn’t have to be asked about what kind of paper you are using.  The printer would just know.

This last one really gets me tweaked into a fury.  Why the “engineers” in this billion dollar industry can’t figure out a proper driver delivery system, is beyond me.  When you connect your printer, it always asks for drivers.  The printer just sits there at the end of the USB cable like a shy kid at the high school dance.  Only after you load an often dysfunctional piece of software onto your computer will you then get any response from your printer.  In 2012, this is truly embarrassing.   This is why I started this blog.

Each all-in-one printer these days has built in SD card readers, for our cameras and what not.  Each printer should have an additional, small, built in SD card.  Now what do you think this SD card should have pre-loaded on it from the factory?  That’s right, printer drivers and software, for PC and Mac.  Connect the printer to the computer, and voila!  It reads the drivers and the computer can automatically begin talking with the printer, without confusing a bunch of users with CDs, downloads, and installation procedures.

It get’s better.  Update your driver?  Fine, you do that just like you did in the past, with the user downloading a newer file and executing it with the old double click.  This time though, instead of simply updating on the computer, and then having to go through the whole process again when you reload your operating system, or move the printer to a different computer, the program will update not just the computer’s driver information, but it will update the SD card that’s built into the printer.  Take the printer to Aunt Gertrude’s house and her printer will be able to pick it right up, and with the latest drivers already!

So what would you have?  You would connect the printer, and immediately be able to print.  You could fine tune the printer (in ways that you currently still can’t) in less than a minute.  The printer would not need to ask you anymore what type of paper you were using.  It would just print.  If a print ever didn’t look right to you, just run the initial fine tuning (1 minute) process and you are back on track again.  Done.  Engineers, this is the blueprint for how it needs to be done.  Please make it happen.  We are waiting.