I wanted something a bit silly for today, and how timely with elections coming within the week.  It’s a simple idea, and before I even get into the ramifications of politics or decency, just know how my mind works.  If you would call me a name to mock me, I’m the kind of guy who would use that name myself and by doing so reduce the power it gives you.  That being said, this came to me literally whilst dipping a tea bag into a cup of hot water.  I was dropping the bag in and out of the water, and in only moments thought to myself, “man, if they had a little wind up device that you could attach the tea bag string to, and it would just go up and down slightly for a minute… it would be quite helpful.

Then it hit me.  A plastic man, smaller than a GI Joe doll, with some manner of slots in his feet so that he could be set firmly right on the ring of a mug or glass.  He would be squatting down, facing away from the beverage.  In his back would be an indentation just big enough that a tea bag string would be able to rest against,  His left and right hands would be molded together, near the right shoulder, with the hands open slightly and a little space between them  This would allow you to quickly fasten and unfasten a tea bag string in place over his shoulder.  You would set him on the rim of your glass, drop the tea bag in the water just behind him, bringing the string up his back and draw the excess over his shoulder, cinching it in place.  A few turns of the little wind up mechanism, and he suddenly comes to life, squatting down and raising up, down and up, down and up, raising the tea bag in and out of the water.

Now before anyone gets all crazy and offended.  There is nothing indecent about the bag or it’s action.  It is tea.  It is anatomically equivalent to a man putting a large sack over his back, holding the drawstrings and dipping the thing into a nearby pond.  If it upsets you, that’s not on me.  What is on me if anything is bringing some legitimacy to what is indeed a foul concept, that is now associated with a political group.  Now whether you agree or not with that group doesn’t really matter.  The Boston tea party was a tremendous moment in our history and it should be celebrated.

The genius of my idea is that it could truly be appreciated in all households.  The liberals will love it for the bashing of the “teabaggers!”  The conservatives will love it for the completely decent depiction of tea being spent, or perhaps the demonstration that they embrace the term “teabagger” in spite of the mockery.  I don’t care what side you’re on, just enjoy the benefit of the little soldier handling the business for you.